The Swing of Things

Well, it's really already starting to feel like real life here, which has been a good thing. We have the daily routine of going to the Mother House in the morning, having bread a banana, and chai, reciting the Physician's Prayer, then off to our respective places. At Prem Dan, the German priest Helmut has asked me to work with a specific patient who cannot walk very well and complains of pain in his left leg. Upon questioning some people that work there, I have found out that there is nothing that is known to be wrong with his legs, and they claim that he is having phantom pains. He speaks pretty decent english, though it is so quiet and he has a thick accent which makes it difficult to hear the first time. The man is badly burned over much of his body, including most of his face. He has a glass right eye, as the eye was scorched and rendered useless. It is Helmut's and my belief that this has put him in a severe state of depression, as it is very difficult for many people to look him in the face. While I do everything I can to help, making him do physical therapy against his will, massaging his leg, etc., he is unfortunately giving up psychologically, which is something that makes healing and the chance of recovery slim. I cannot imagine what it must be like to have nothing left, be badly burned and feel like I am not even capable of taking care of myself. On top of this, there is most likely nothing for this man to return to or have hope for in this world. Yesterday, while I was preparing to feed him (he is capable of eating on his own, but always refuses to eat when food comes around, so I bring food to him anyway and give it to him), he released himself while still in bed, and asked for a change in clothing. From here I took a different approach than the accomodating one I had in the past. Instead of cleaning him up right there, I told him that we had to move him now and wash him off, which he doesn't like because he says it hurts his leg. When I did this, he was not happy, but afterwards he ate his food on his own, kissed his hand and touched my cheek. This has taught me how there are some times when people act like they want to be pampered, but truly appreciate being held to the standard of everyone else. This is something Russel calls "tough love," and has to do this all the time at Kalighat, the home for the dying and destitute. I pray that by working with him each day and being in being persistent, he is able to pick himself back up and gain the strength to continue on living.